One Day in Frankfurt, the year 2000.
Knocknock.
“Kommen Sie in, please.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am delighted to see you, and I want to express my personal gratitude to you for seeing me, and for taking time to evaluate my proposal.”
“Not at all. So what is your proposal, Minister Rastapostorous?”
“I would like to apply for a 1 bio loan for my country, to be repaid in 10 years.”
“And how do you propose to invest the funds so as to generate the return that allows you to service the loan, and presumably create some additional value for you and your countrymen?”
“First, I am planning to pay out higher pensions and salaries to the civil servants, also to retire them at 55. Next we have ordered 26 million state of the art hammocks for our people. Finally we want to hand out a special edition Demis Roussos Greatest Hits Sony Walkman to every living Greek voter.”
“But Minister Rastapostorous, that doesn’t seem to create any revenue stream. How do you propose to repay me?”
“Haha, I was only kidding, Herr Schmidt, in ten years time I’ll issue another bond to repay your fine institution.”
“Right you are. And I just got eine shitload of iuroes in from China, they have money coming out of their yazoos, so I guess this is as gut as anything. I sign – here?”
----------------
One Day in Frankfurt, the year 2010.
Knocknock.
“Kommen Sie in, please.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am delighted to see you, and I want to express my personal gratitude to you for seeing me, and for taking time to evaluate my proposal.”
“Oh it’s you. So what is your proposal, Minister Rastapostorous?”
“I would like to apply for a 2 bio loan for my country, to be repaid in 10 years, partly to repay you the 1bio you so kindly lend us ten years ago, partly to fund our new plans.”
“And how do you propose to invest the funds so as to generate the return that allows you to service the loan, and presumably create some additional value for you and your countrymen?”
“First, I am planning to pay out even higher pensions and salaries to the civil servants, also to retire them at 50. Then we plan to create a Venus exploration vehicle, in marble, to show what a prosperous country we are. Finally we want to hand out a special edition Demis Roussos Golden Oldies iPod Touch to every living Greek voter.”
“That sounds suspiciously like what you proposed in 2000, only then you said you were kidding. Please tell me you were kidding.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am not known for my sense of humour.”
“Neither am I, Minister Rastapostorous, neither am I. Jürgen, can I trouble you to throw Minister Rastapostorous out on the street and set the dogs on him, bitte? Yes, the schtarved Rottweilers. Danke schön.”
Knocknock.
“Kommen Sie in, please.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am delighted to see you, and I want to express my personal gratitude to you for seeing me, and for taking time to evaluate my proposal.”
“Not at all. So what is your proposal, Minister Rastapostorous?”
“I would like to apply for a 1 bio loan for my country, to be repaid in 10 years.”
“And how do you propose to invest the funds so as to generate the return that allows you to service the loan, and presumably create some additional value for you and your countrymen?”
“First, I am planning to pay out higher pensions and salaries to the civil servants, also to retire them at 55. Next we have ordered 26 million state of the art hammocks for our people. Finally we want to hand out a special edition Demis Roussos Greatest Hits Sony Walkman to every living Greek voter.”
“But Minister Rastapostorous, that doesn’t seem to create any revenue stream. How do you propose to repay me?”
“Haha, I was only kidding, Herr Schmidt, in ten years time I’ll issue another bond to repay your fine institution.”
“Right you are. And I just got eine shitload of iuroes in from China, they have money coming out of their yazoos, so I guess this is as gut as anything. I sign – here?”
----------------
One Day in Frankfurt, the year 2010.
Knocknock.
“Kommen Sie in, please.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am delighted to see you, and I want to express my personal gratitude to you for seeing me, and for taking time to evaluate my proposal.”
“Oh it’s you. So what is your proposal, Minister Rastapostorous?”
“I would like to apply for a 2 bio loan for my country, to be repaid in 10 years, partly to repay you the 1bio you so kindly lend us ten years ago, partly to fund our new plans.”
“And how do you propose to invest the funds so as to generate the return that allows you to service the loan, and presumably create some additional value for you and your countrymen?”
“First, I am planning to pay out even higher pensions and salaries to the civil servants, also to retire them at 50. Then we plan to create a Venus exploration vehicle, in marble, to show what a prosperous country we are. Finally we want to hand out a special edition Demis Roussos Golden Oldies iPod Touch to every living Greek voter.”
“That sounds suspiciously like what you proposed in 2000, only then you said you were kidding. Please tell me you were kidding.”
“Herr Schmidt, I am not known for my sense of humour.”
“Neither am I, Minister Rastapostorous, neither am I. Jürgen, can I trouble you to throw Minister Rastapostorous out on the street and set the dogs on him, bitte? Yes, the schtarved Rottweilers. Danke schön.”
