Executive Summary:
1. A noise-cancellation speaker emits a sound wave with the same amplitude but with inverted phase to the original sound. The waves combine to form a new wave, a process called interference, and effectively cancel each other out. The sound must be either a constant - such as the humming of a jet engine - or repeating itself in a recognizable pattern, such as Ringo Starr's drumming.
2. There exists within the realms of religion oft-repeated accusations, chants, prayers and other auditory disturbances whose sole purpose is to aggravate members of the out-groups, and which on a net basis causes more harm than good.
3. We propose to refine the noise-cancellation technology, define a series of inverted sounds so as to neutralize the more egregious of such utterances (see Appendix A), and distribute these appliances throughout the Middle East starting in Jerusalem.
Discussion
Most of the utterances are really mind-burps, or rationalizations of negative brain impulses originating in the limbic system, caused by fear of strangers or other such basic instincts. They serve no purpose, and have an intellectual content equivalent to "Your Momma!" Consider an example: a black man is elected president of a country populated predominantly by white folks. Every time a white person of limited education and world-view sees the black person, a burp of fear bubbles up from the amygdala, passes through the pre-frontal cortex where it is rationalized in the conscious brain, modified by the prevailing political correctness module, and comes out sounding like "He is un-American." The person will then take the utterance and re-rationalize, finding a narrative that fits the "un-Americanism" of the black person. But I digress.
The lack of intellectual content makes the mind-burps undebatable. As Jonathan Swift said: "It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into." A constructive dialogue between two theists who both believe they know the Truth is a contradiction in terms. The only response available when a proposition cannot be rationally analyzed is to raise one's voice, ultimately leading to other, often violent manifestations of frustration, all to no avail.
We are certain, sirs, that you will agree that a public noise-cancellation system is a solution devoutly to be wished, and will grant us the global intellectual property rights.
We are certain, sirs, that you will agree that a public noise-cancellation system is a solution devoutly to be wished, and will grant us the global intellectual property rights.
Opportunities for expansion are endless : iPad Apps for personalized elimination of specific words and phrases (Example: "?hguone dah ouy t'nevah"), a special Washington DC App off-setting lobbyists whining (mandatory, I think you would agree, for a well-functioning democracy), the only condition for the technology to be successful is that the original sound follows a predictable pattern. As an aside, I believe my daughters have undergone an evolutionary adaptation of this nature, constantly emitting the inverse of "Have you done your homework?" ("?Krowemoh ruoy enod uoy evah").
Note: this PP replaces previous application FF63-T209 titled Soundproof Plexiglass Dome To Be Placed Over Middle East For The Benefit of Mankind. We feel this new technology is more humane.
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APPENDIX A - The Jerusalem List:
1. My book is truer than your book (and variations)
2. I am pious, you are misguided, he is infidel (and variations)
3. I have a God-given right to this land
4. Because my book says so
5. Allah-u-Akhbar (and variations)
6. There is no god but [ABC/XYZ etc] and [123, 987, etc] is his prophet (the system could possibly allow the first four words)
24 November 2013 UPDATE: I was ahead of my time.
24 November 2013 UPDATE: I was ahead of my time.
